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7 Funny Toilet Paper Alternatives

by Suissounet

Toilet paper has become a major part of maintaining good personal hygiene for most Americans over the past century. However, if you are in a bind and can’t find bathroom tissue, you will have to look for an alternative. For example, you might not be able to find any bathroom tissue at the store – or you might live off-grid on a homestead that doesn’t have a flushing toilet. Therefore, in the event that you don’t have access to toilet paper, here are several good alternatives.

  1. Bidet

Many Americans don’t have a bidet in their bathroom. However, they are very popular in many Asian and European countries. A bidet replaces the need for toilet paper by using water to clean you after going to the bathroom. A bidet can either be installed on your toilet, or it can be installed as a completely separate fixture next to your toilet (which is more typical). You can find a bidet for your bathroom at home improvement stores like Lowe’s and Home Depot.

  1. Baby Wipes

Baby wipes – or standard disinfecting wipes – make an excellent alternative to bathroom tissue. First, they are soft like bathroom tissue. Secondly, they contain disinfectant that will keep your hands clean and more sanitary when using them. However, you can’t flush baby wipes down the toilet because they will clog up your sewer line. Instead, you must throw them away after using them.

  1. Paper Products

Before the days of indoor bathrooms and toilet paper, most people used paper to clean themselves after going to the bathroom. For example, people would use old newspapers and Sears Catalogs. Speaking of newspaper, it’s still a good alternative to bathroom tissue. You can also use notebook paper and old receipts. Just make sure you don’t flush paper down the toilet, because it will clog your plumbing.

  1. Rags

When it comes to cleaning yourself after using the bathroom, you want to use soft items. Cloth rags are another viable substitute for toilet paper – as long as you throw them away after using them. You can make cloth rags from kitchen and bathroom towels, old clothing, and any scraps of fabric that you have around the house.

  1. Sponges

Sponges are another soft item that make a good substitute for bathroom tissue. In fact, sponges are intended for cleaning dirt and grime off surfaces. Therefore, they can do a good job of cleaning you after going to the bathroom. However, you will want to wet them to make them softer before cleaning yourself.

  1. Cotton Products

Cotton products – like cotton balls and wipes – are probably the softest alternative to toilet paper. If you plan on using cotton balls, take a handful, wet them with water so they will stick together when you clean yourself. If you use cotton wipes, you should wet them first so they will do a better job of cleaning yourself.

  1. Paper Towels

Many people would consider paper towels a natural substitute for toilet paper. You can definitely use paper towels in place of bathroom tissue. However, they are meant for cleaning smooth surfaces like countertops, appliances, and hard floors. Therefore, you (likely) won’t be able to clean yourself as well with paper towels. If you do decide to use paper towels, don’t flush them down the toilet because your plumbing can’t handle them. 


In short, if you are looking for the best permanent alternative to toilet paper, then you should install a bidet in your bathroom(s). If you can’t find toilet paper at the store, you should see if they have baby wipes that you can use instead. If you run out of toilet paper at home – and you really need it – you can (likely) find several good alternatives around your house. For example, you can use cloth rags, sponges, cotton products, and even paper towels as substitutes for bathroom tissue. Just don’t flush anything down your toilet that will hurt your plumbing and sewer. 😉
Don’t worry, you will always find toilet paper in the shops!